19 03 2008

President George W Bush has thrown a surprise party to celebrate the fifth anniversary of the US-led invasion of Iraq.

In the Oval office of the White House this afternoon, Bush prepared by hiding behind the curtains and giggling into his hand.

“It thinks its coming for some heavy meeting about strategic ground deployments in the northern provinces. Instead we’re going to have one hell of a night, dancing and drinking some wild turkey I put away for a special occasion.”

“It’s what the people of Iraq would want, and expect.”

Vice president Dick Cheney, who had spent the afternoon preparing the buffet, said it was a fraught time for all in government.

“Somebody forgot the paper plates, and then we couldn’t find the cocktail sticks for the pickled onion and cheese. It was touch and go for a moment, as you can imagine.”

The celebrations come amid criticism in the US of the war, with some opponents pointing to the rising cost of bouncy castle hire and face-painting.

In his speech, Mr Bush dismissed what he called “exaggerated estimates”.

He said: “The costs are necessary when we consider our strategic victory in Iraq.”

“If we can’t go a little crazy to the Grease megamix in this great nation of ours, then we truly have lost to the terrorists.”

Meanwhile, near the northern city of Kirkuk, US troops shot dead three Iraqi policemen by mistake, an incident officials described as “a tragic accident, which was sincerely regretted”.

“The officers thought they were charging, but in fact it was a conga line than had just got out of control.”




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